The Bright Side of Health Care Reform

Every iteration I've seen of the health care legislation has been a lot like the junk food we Americans love so much - chock full of the things people like, but practically nothing that would actually be good for anyone.

Although total government takeover is not on the table (yet), by setting up insurance companies to fail while simultaneously driving up costs (one of those nasty side effects of increasing demand of medical care without increasing supply), our public servants in DC can bet on us crawling back to them to 'fix it' sooner or later.

So the question is not whether the path we're on leads to government-run health care, but when. If, like me, you're a fan of liberty - and our very high standard of living - that realization might seem a little depressing.

However, as with many things in life, there is indeed a silver lining to this (hurricane) cloud. Being the optimist that I am, I like to try to look on the 'bright side of life,' so here it is:

When we arrive at government-run health care, we can undoubtedly expect 'free' medical procedures, at least the ones approved by the government. If our friends in Washington really want to fix all of our problems – as they promise – all they would have to do is make sure that surgeries altering the connections to the prefrontal cortex are fully covered and accessible to everyone.

That's right – the answer is FREE lobotomies for everybody!

Imagine the possibilities: all those dissenters and naysayers, all those rowdy individualists could be relieved of the responsibility of thinking (along with everyone else). What could be better for a government that wants to run our entire lives than reducing the entire population to tranquil, unthinking cattle?

Some might say that this would be really bad for our productivity. Not important. If people aren't productive, then we won't have to bother taxing them for being too productive. It's a win-win.

Everyone will just live their lives whatever way our enlightened leaders dictate. Without the capacity for original thought, they won't be able to cause all those undesirable symptoms of freedom, like unequal outcomes.

After all - isn't that the goal of constantly expanding the government, anyway? Might as well get it all over with at once - like ripping off a band-aid.